Daioh Spinoff Showcase
by R.O.TR
Summary: Random stories and oneshots regarding those unusual schoolgirls and their teachers. Free ice cream currently out of stock.
1. Introduction

Disclaimer: I do not own any of Azumanga Daioh. A shame.

This is basically a collection of random stories and oneshots that I was suddenly inspired to start writing. Also I'm thinking of making my story Love and all that more then a oneshot. Please be kind...

* * *

Daioh Spin off Showcase!

Yomi slowly walked along the corridor, dressed in a dark black suit. She slowly adjusted her glasses and turned to face the screen. She took in a deep breath.

"Sometimes there exist shows that achieve quite a large amount of success. And of course with success brings money. However sometimes foolish people…do I really need to read that? I do? Ok. Sometimes foolish people like to end the series while it's at its peak, having told their story. Sure, this may be good for the audience and the creator, but what are the poor publishers to do?"

She fell silent as the lights were turned down.

"Spin-offs of course. Different elements, different characters, rip off of other shows. This creation still has fanfiction written about it, therefore there must be at least one person out there willing to pay money for such things. And that's good enough for our network executives. After all if we put enough effort into our Japanese advertising we ought to get plenty of sales just from showing Chiyo-Chan before they realize how crap it is."

There was a faint squeaking of trainers against the polished floor. Yomi turned and groaned loudly as Tomo approached her. The girl looked towards Yomi, towards the screen and then at the people behind the large glass screen.

"What the hell is going on?"

"Nothing, just go away Tomo" replied Yomi.

"Oh ok…wait a minute you're talking to the audience aren't you! You've been asked to advertise the new shows! I wanted to do that!"

"Just go away."

"Super wrestling move" said Tomo gripping Yomi in a headlock. She looked at the autocue. "And our first one is…wait that sounds crap!"

Mwha ha ha ha.

---

For this story I have the legal drinking age at the English age of 18, and the six older characters at age 18.

In no association with Kiyohiko Azuma…

The Daioh Spin off showcase presents…

Azu**_man_**ga Daioh

The sun shone high in the sky on this beautiful day, shining brightly down on the familiar looking school. People slowly waltzed up into the school as the bell rung loudly. Footsteps against the ground, fast and heavy, the person running towards the class, late. The door swung open.

"Hi, I'm Tom Takino" said the boy pulling open the door.

"Tom, you're late again" groaned Yukari as the boy attempted to sneak around the back of the room. "Sit down. **Now**."

"Yes Yukari-sensei" said Tom saluting the teacher and sitting down in his chair, ducking under her desk.

"Test papers are marked, and here they are" said Yukari. "On second thoughts, Masaaki you can hand out the papers" she said thrusting the papers out at the sitting boy.

"Y-yes Yukari sensei" said the boy standing up so quickly his glasses almost fell off. Under the glare of his teacher he sprinted around, handing out the papers.

Tom looked down at his paper. Fifty out of a hundred. "Well, not bad I guess" he said to himself. He looked up bored towards the chalkboard. "Man I can't wait for this lesson to end. Baseball next! Ha, bet I can hit a homerun or three!"

An hour later he stood holding the bat.

"Strike three!"

"Well I guess there's always the boys swimming club."

Across from her Sam sat on the small hill, watching the others playing. He slowly brushed his black hair out of his face, looking down at his pale skin. Those people didn't understand him. Life was just one soul destroying defeat after another, a test with no joyful end. He pulled out his pad. That could be a good poem.

He sat, merely watching the people playing. Fools. Wasting their time on sports. He rested the pad of paper on his lap and began sketching a small cat that had appeared at the edge of the playing field. His pencil scratched across the paper.

"Come here kitty" he whispered quietly.

The cat looked at him once and quickly turned, shooting back into the hedges. Damn cats. No animals seemed to like him. But then again, why would they? After all even he didn't like himself anyway.

---

Johnny pulled off his glasses and wiped them clean with his cloth. He slowly placed them back on and turned to Jimmy who looked up at him.

"So what are you doing today?" asked the young boy, rubbing his nose.

"Nothing much" replied Johnny. He picked up his bag and placed it on his desk. Jimmy looked across at it.

"That bag looks heavy. Anything in there?"

"Oh no, nothing much" said Johnny. He knew that wasn't exactly true. A small set of dumbbells sat in the bag. All the others seemed to be getting into shape, and he wasn't too happy with his own body. He did ok at sports but he thought he should take better care of his body. After all, he was becoming a man now.

"So how did you do in the test?" asked Jimmy.

"I did ok I guess, got seventy seven" replied Johnny. He smiled. "Let me guess, a hundred for you huh?"

"Not quite" said Jimmy smiling, "I got ninety five."

"Not bad going. Well, see you later, I'm going out with a few of the lads."

The smaller boy hung his head. "Oh yeah, have fun."

"Don't worry, soon you'll be old enough to go- and you're always invited to our parties."

"Really?!"

---

Ken sat at his desk gripping his pen tightly, deep in thought. The others had invited him out for a drink tonight. He'd accepted of course- but now he was worried. Sam was going to be there. He didn't quite know how he'd respond around the boy. Some people said bad things about him- and joked about his poetry- but at heart he was a good person. Around his friends he was almost a different person.

And was what he felt right, or natural? He'd seen how other people reacted about the whole subject. He was certain some people might disown him- and how would he even know that Sam felt the same way. Homosexuality…it wasn't something overly common around here. He was so confused. But he had accepted his feelings now. It was nothing to be ashamed of. He couldn't deny his feelings, couldn't try and be someone else. It wouldn't be right. People should either like him for what he was, or not like him at all.

He slammed the pencil down on the table. Beside him Chris turned to look at him.

"What's wrong Ken?" he asked.

The boy turned to face his best friend. "Oh nothings wrong" he said smiling, "I was just thinking about the game last night."

"Yeah that was bad" replied Chris. Ken sighed in relief. He hadn't watched any game. Sports wasn't one of his greatest interests.

"Hello Ken, my little stud muffin" said Mrs Kimura stepping into the room.

"Please don't call me that" said Ken anxiously.

"Why not? You're so adorable when you get uptight." Someone in the corridor called for the teacher who disappeared. Ken shivered slightly. She must be at least sixty years old. Just his luck.

---

Cameron sat down on the bench beside Oscar. Cameron sat wearing a pair of shorts and the shirt of his favourite Japanese baseball team. He leant back, feeling the wind blow through his gelled hair. Oscar sat, looking straight forward at a sign for an upcoming movie. Finally he slowly turned his head towards Cameron.

"Ah. Hi Cameron."

"Oscar. Looking forward to the pub tonight?"

"What? Oh yeah I suppose. What pub?"

Cameron slapped Oscar on the back enthusiastically. "It's gonna be a great night out."

"Yeah I suppose. What?"

"Lets just wait for the others."

Oscar nodded in agreement. The two sat in relative silence, Cameron chucking a ball up in the air and catching it. Oscar pulled out a scotch egg and chucked it up in the air, the piece of food falling to the ground with a splat. Cameron looked behind the bench at the mess.

"Cool."

As the sun slowly began to descend they watched as the others joined them. Ken walked just behind Sam, trying to talk to him. Johnny and Tom walked together, playfully punching one another on the arm as Tom wound up the other boy. They greeted Oscar and Cameron who stood up. Oscar remained seated, looking at the sign. He turned, and suddenly noticed the new arrivals.

"Oh hi."

He stood up.

"Lets get going" said Tom. "Race you Cameron."

"Fine. But I'll win" grinned Cameron. "Lets go."

And so concludes this first spin off. Coming next an odd tale of fast food, danger…and Osaka. In _Adventures of a fast food worker_

_Also possibly coming soon…_

Kimura, Detective

Goal

Azumanga Daioh: The first generation

Super Team Teacher!

(Dependant upon finances)

* * *

_Authors Note: Sorry, I haven't had the faintest clue of what I've been doing since I decided to cross a ninja series with a series about girls at school._


	2. Adventures of a fast food worker

Adventures of a fast food worker

Together the three stood. The genius, the weirdo and the energetic nutcase. Tomo glanced around- the 'restaurant' was surprisingly empty this Friday. She shrugged- didn't really care. It just meant she was getting paid for doing nothing. Beside her Osaka stood staring at the bright menu above the cash registers while Chiyo was trying to take care of a five person long line. She ran to and from the cash register.

"Tomo! Osaka! Please help me!" she called out desperately.

"You need help from _moi_?" asked Tomo pointing to herself.

"Please Miss Tomo" said Chiyo.

"Lets do it" said Osaka turning to Tomo who nodded.

"Right then! Super fast line clearing exercise!" called out Tomo.

"Great" chirped Chiyo. "You and Osaka take care of the food, I'll take the orders."

"I'll do it double quick!" said Tomo running into the back area, knocking over a pile of kids meal boxes. Osaka followed, glancing up at the bright lights. Together with Tomo they started up the fryers. Outside a faint shiver past throughout Chiyo. Something seemed wrong. Soon she realized exactly what it was…she'd left the numbnuts in charge of the hot oils and fats.

"Excuse me for a minute please sir" she said worriedly, running to Tomo and Osaka. Tomo was busy chucking French fries into the fryer while Osaka strained to lift up a box of buns.

"Yo Osaka, pass me some nuggets" called out Tomo.

"Right" said Osaka, first picking up empty boxes, then some of the chicken nuggets. She chucked them to Tomo as Chiyo gasped in disbelief. Tomo grinned at the girl and chucked the nuggets into the fryer.

"Wrong one" said Osaka pointing at her, and then at the mixture of fries and chicken.

"Don't worry, I'll get them out" said Tomo reaching down.

"No!" called out Chiyo.

"CRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!" cried out Tomo as her hand was scalded.

"What were you thinking?" asked Chiyo, wrapping a bandage around her hand as Osaka dealt with customers. Slowly.

"I thought I'd be quick enough to reach in before the burns could get to me."

"What?"

"It doesn't matter" said Tomo as Osaka returned to the room. "What is it Osaka?"

"Something weird's happening."

Following the girl they rushed outside as bright orange lightning struck down. Osaka stood shrieking as the thunder struck, while Tomo hit her injured hand against the door frame when she gestured about how cool it was. The lighting struck down close to them, a bin catching fire. Chiyo looked at it in terror as Tomo called out for more lightning. It struck again, scorching a bench and she suddenly fell silent.

"I think we should go back inside" suggested Chiyo.

"Good idea" replied Tomo, the two rushing back inside. A few seconds later they rushed back outside and pulled Osaka into the building. They stood gasping, listening as the thunder struck, and watching the lightning course down through the sky. With the exception of the three of them the store was now empty.

"What's with all the lightning?" asked Tomo.

"Perhaps the world is ending" said Osaka deep in thought. Chiyo whimpered.

"Nah that isn't big enough for the world. Though this town could be wiped out" replied Tomo, engrossed in the numerous possibilities having recently had a disaster movie marathon. She glanced down as Chiyo hugged her leg.

"What is it?" she asked.

"I-I'm scared."

"Ha, scaredy cat." **Boom! **"Ah crap! What the hell was that?" called out Tomo, ducking underneath a table, accidentally pulling Chiyo with her.

Sitting beside a shivering Tomo, Chiyo watched as the strange lightning struck the front door. It crawled up the glass, sparks separating from the main bolt. She gripped her legs, thinking any minute the glass would break and it'd be inside. But she also wondered what was going on- this lightning was strange…it almost seemed to be trying to get inside.

Osaka stood, watching as the lightning streaked across the sky. She turned to the others, crouching down with a grin on her face. "See, I told you the world was ending. I was right."

"G-good for you" said Tomo, as she and Chiyo pulled a surprised looking Osaka under the table.

The thunder struck again, more powerfully, Chiyo feeling the ground shaking. Lightning ripped across the roof outside, the large M sign exploding in a cascade of glass. Sobbing slightly she gripped Tomo and Osaka in a hug as the lightning struck the door again. The glass cracked, and this time it passed into the room. Chiyo felt her hair raising, the power of the bolt incredibly strong. She closed her eyes as it headed towards her and her three friends.

So this was it. The lightning struck and engulfed the three in a strange glow. Together they fell into unconsciousness…

Darkness.

Sunlight…

Chiyo slowly opened her eyes, a blue sky looking down on her. Dusting herself down, she sat up and saw Tomo and Osaka beside her, Tomo snoring loudly. She felt the sun shining on her. Was it possible that had all been a dream? Her hands reached down and touched something strange. Finally she became aware of her surroundings.

Ruins and rubbish everywhere. Rusted torn cars littered the ground below her, beaten buildings either side. Hardly any sound. She sobbed slightly. Osaka had been right. It was the end of the world…and they might be the only ones left. What should they do? They'd have to find…

"Hey you!"

"Excuse me?"

"Why the heck are you sitting on that garbage?"

"What?"

"And why would a little girl want to come to the garbage dump?"

She slowly stood up. The town in its entirety stood before her, normal as always. She gasped in amazement, and then gripped Tomo and Osaka.

"We're alive!" she said hugging them.

"Yay" said Osaka.

"Huh, what?" asked Tomo sluggishly. "What's that smell?"

"It may be me" said Osaka apologetically.

---

"How did we end up on there?" asked Tomo as they climbed down onto flat, relatively un-smelly land.

"Maybe we were on a field trip?" suggested Osaka.

"Hey, you're in your school uniform" said Chiyo stopping suddenly.

"So are you" said Tomo. All three stood in their summer school uniforms. "Anyone else feeling a bit weird?"

"We should be in the restaurant right?" asked Chiyo, "Oh the manager will be so angry with us!"

"Screw the manager, I wanna know how we ended up here, and if it'll impact on our wages this month" said Tomo.

"Olleh" said a tanned man stepping towards them. His features seemed hidden in shadows, despite the bright sun.

"Excuse me?"

"Uoy ot kaeps I tnatropmI. Important I speak to you."

"Are you crazy?"

"No…maybe a bit. You aren't in your own world anymore!"

"Excuse me?" asked Chiyo politely.

"Via a cataclysmic circumstance of nature you have wound up in a parallel universe" he said, then laughing evilly for dramatic effect.

"Parallelogram whuh?" asked Osaka.

"I thought such things didn't exist" said Chiyo, the only person to understand.

"Oh…but they do! However you can escape easily with the use of the special badge formed at the second you were struck."

They looked around. Nothing. Finally Tomo pointed to the gigantic pile of rubbish.

"It could be in there."

"Well good luck" said the man dismissively. "On your own you'll go back to your own world eventually. Oh is that the time, better get going."

As he sprinted away Tomo turned to the others. "I think we might be in trouble."


	3. Adventures of a fast food worker II

Adventures of a fast food worker II

"Well, what do we do now?" asked Tomo as they walked into the town.

"Yeah, what now Chiyo?" asked Osaka.

The two older girls turned to face the small girl. Chiyo looked up at the two.

"Hey, what? I don't know…I can't think of anything…it's not fair" she said in an upset tone.

"I think she's going to break down in a minute" whispered Osaka.

"Well, that man said we'd return in a couple of days" said Chiyo, "So I guess we just wait for a couple of days? Any other ideas?"

A silence fell across the two older girls.

"Wait a few days it is" said Osaka.

"Yeah and since this is a saralell universe" started Tomo.

"Parallel" corrected Chiyo.

"Whatever. Anyway, whatever we do doesn't matter." She grinned as she thought of all the things she could do. "We could rob banks! We could bet large sums of money and never have to pay! We could just sit around and do nothing!"

"Yeah" said Osaka in agreement.

"We have to carry on as normal!" called out Chiyo.

"Huh? Why?"

"We may have replaced a version of ourselves. If we mess up now, their life may be ruined."

"So?"

"The same thing may happen to you while we are here. If we do positive, hopefully there'll be less chance of something bad happening."

"I am the only one who's getting very tired, bored and confused here?" asked Tomo.

"Me too!" said Osaka.

---

The three girls walked along the relatively crowded town pathway, huddling close together, fearing everyone around them. They received many surprised looks as they continued walking, Tomo pulling Chiyo away from a group of boys.

"What are we doing?" whispered Tomo.

"Look at that television" said Chiyo, "Today's Monday." She glanced down at her small kitten watch. "We've got ten minutes to get to school!"

"Great even in a different universe I might be late for school" groaned Tomo.

"Hi" said a tall girl walking past.

"Hi Sakaki-san" said Tomo absentmindedly. She paused. "Huh? What the?"

Chiyo and Osaka watched as Sakaki walked past, wearing tight jeans and a short shirt revealing her midriff. She waved to a group of boys who whistled at her. She turned around, brushing her hair out of her face.

"So, you guys like forgot about own clothes day again?" she asked, revealing earrings and plenty of lipstick. "Like, Osaka you said you had a really nice outfit."

"I did?" asked Osaka as Tomo and Chiyo stood with their mouths hanging down.

"Like, totally. You were going to look great. Well I guess you can wear it to the party this weekend huh?"

"Sure!" said Osaka cheerfully, forgetting her situation. "I'll wear it at the weekend!" She turned to the others. "I have a nice dress!"

"Well come on, we'll be completely late if we don't get going" said Sakaki, "Come on I know a shortcut."

"I don't think we're in Kansas anymore" whispered Chiyo.

"Chiyo are you feeling ok? We weren't ever in Kansas" said Tomo as Chiyo slapped her head in frustration.

---

The three girls approached the school with Sakaki, the building looking just the same as they remembered it. Chiyo looked around, watching as several people she vaguely recognized walked around the school, some chatting, some reading, Osaka looking up towards the clouds.

"It looks just like our school" whispered Tomo.

"It is your school silly" said Sakaki, "Come on we'd better get to class. We don't want Kurosawa to find us."

"What? Why not Kurosawa sensei?" asked Chiyo curiously.

"Have you forgotten her drunken rants, her unusual teaching methods? Miss Yukari is much more responsible."

"What?!" asked all three of the girls together.

"Well you see its just…wah" she said, suddenly ducking behind Tomo, which was no mean feat considering she was at least a head taller then the other girl. They stood and watched as Kaori slowly walked past, chatting eagerly with Chihiro. When the two vanished Tomo turned to face Sakaki.

"What was all that about?" she asked.

"Nothing, no nothing at all" said Sakaki uneasily. "We'd better hurry up."

"Right" said Tomo, and began following Sakaki before walking straight into someone.

"Stupi-oh hi" she said. A tall man with black hair and chiselled good looks looked down at her through bright blue eyes and smiled, revealing perfect white teeth. "Oh hi" said Tomo in a girlish manner, "Sorry about that."

"Nothing to apologize for Miss Takino, I should have been watching where I was going. Hi Sakaki."

"Hello Mr Kimura" said Sakaki.

"Hi Sakaki."

"K-K-Kimura?" said Tomo incredulously.

"Yes, the one and same" replied the man. "Take care, don't forget your homework- I have you for literature tomorrow."

"You can have me anytime you want!" said Tomo as the man walked away. He slowly turned and winked, Tomo giggling. Finally she turned to Osaka and Chiyo who stood unmoving, transfixed on her.

"What?"

---

"Tomo, Osaka, Chiyo you forgot about own clothes day" said Yukari in a disappointed tone. "That's a shame; I was really looking forward to a nice bright looking class."

"Ok-then" said Tomo cautiously.

The three slowly sat down in their normal places, which appeared to remain the same here. Chiyo quickly glanced around. She gasped in horror when she saw an anorexic looking Yomi, while Kagura failed to chuck a piece of paper into a bin despite standing right next to it. Chiyo shivered slightly. She didn't like this place.

"Are you ok Chiyo-Chan?" asked Yukari caringly.

"Yes I'm fine Miss Yukari" lied the small girl.

The classroom door slowly opened and Kurosawa sensei stumbled in.

"Yo, Yukari get out here for a minute" she said. Yukari sighed and stepped out.

At once the class began speaking. Chiyo turned to the others.

"I think we should stay at my house, come up with a plan" she whispered to the others.

"Good idea" replied Tomo.

Chiyo sat back, listening and watching the class. Sakaki was busy looking into a mirror as Kagura fell asleep on the desk. Behind her Chihiro and Kaorin were talking.

"Mr Kimura is so dreamy" whispered Kaorin to the girl beside her.

"Yeah, he's so cute" replied Chihiro, "But he's married."

"Damn. I just hope I end up in his form next year. Then I can get to spend more ti-"

She was interrupted as Yukari reappeared. "According to Kurosawa, there is something important to watch on the television."

"A beer commercial?" joked one of the boys.

"No, no a news report, live" said Yukari, switching on the television.

_Meanwhile…_

"I'm bored, this is stupid" said Chiyo, chucking her pencil case onto the floor angrily. Ha, no way was she going to pick that up, stupid teacher. The woman approached her and glared, the girl quickly reaching down and picking up the case. "Horrible old person" she muttered. Yukari's eyes widened and nostrils flared. Old. She said Old! **Old!**

"Miss Yukari no!" called out Yomi as Sakaki and Kagura tried to restrain her. Tomo sighed, busy writing down the instructions on the board. She didn't know why everyone had to insist on making so much noise. And she was positive there was something very strange going on- people had almost treated Chiyo with respect at first, while Sakaki seemed surprisingly quiet. She was glad to see Yomi looking better- but the girl had hit her when she commented on her not being so thin anymore.

"Lets do it, lets do it, ready to go" said Osaka shaking slightly, gripping the table. "Come on teacher, teach us something huh, yeah that's right. Oh man I'm so wired, can't fall asleep, come on teacher teach, teach teach teach" she said hyperactively.

Yukari sighed. _What the hell was going on? _


	4. Adventures of a fast food worker III

Adventures of a fast food worker III

The television slowly flickered into life, and sound burst out as the image appeared. Tomo yawned, before Osaka suddenly gripped her desk and pointed towards the screen in surprise. She poked Tomo and pointed towards the screen.

"I know that guy."

On the screen Chiyo-chichi approached a podium, and the strange cat like creature climbed up onto it, looking over a small gathering of reporters. He hovered just above the wooden platform.

"Hello ladies and gentlemen."

"We present the new Prime Minister of Japan. He has a few things he wishes to speak to you about."

"Hello everybody, it is a true honour to appear before you as Prime Minister of this great land."

"How do you feel about the economic situation of the country?"

"Are you saying it is bad? Do you believe that something is wrong?" he asked in an increasingly angry sounding tone.

"Well…"

"How would you feel to be appointed to a new job only to be faced with claims of negativity? Anyway, I am glad to announce the red is slowly going away. It is with great pleasure I present our new flag, with the red circle replaced by green to represent the beauty of our natural landscape."

"But we liked our flag."

"Even with the red?"

"That's it" said Tomo standing up. "I can deal with hot Sakaki and Kimura. I can deal with sober professional Yukari- but I can't put up with a damn cat thing from someone's dreams being a prime minister. I'm out of here."

"Tomo, oh please wait!" called out Yukari as Tomo stormed out of the room.

---

Tomo slowly walked away from the school, kicking a can. Behind her Chiyo and Osaka desperately tried to catch up with the girl. Finally she paused and turned around. Chiyo came to a sudden halt.

"What is it?"

"No one has really thought much about us have they?"

"Not really."

"Then why did that man know what had happened to us?"

"I'm not sure."

Tomo suddenly fell to the ground, holding a hand against her stomach as she felt queasy. Beside her Chiyo and Osaka did the same. They crouched down on the floor groaning. The surroundings blurred and flashed past, multi coloured light. Finally it stopped and they found themselves within a laboratory. The man stood above them.

"Welcome back, I summoned you here."

"What's going on?"

"You do not need to know all of the details. All you need to know is I have, accidentally, created a rip in space time. I was looking for a way to alter gravity to enable myself to conduct a seemingly impossible experiment."

"Why?" asked Chiyo.

"Because I don't get out much and I was bored."

"Good reason" mused Tomo.

"This very rip is slowly repairing itself. You may return if you wait- but to ensure your return I would recommend you return to your own world now…it's the only way to be sure."

"But how can we do that?" asked Chiyo.

"I have created a link back to your world. Unfortunately, well I also did the same thing for about fifteen different universes so it's basically take your pick."

"You really don't know what you are doing do you?" asked Tomo.

"Well not really." He turned and pointed to a series of portals. "Well make your choice."

"And there's no harmful effects?" asked Chiyo. She didn't like what he was talking about.

"Of course there isn't…well you may experience a large dose of radiation as you pass through, but fortunately the electrical field will stop you feeling it."

"What other choice do we have?" asked Tomo.

"Sit back, enjoy our lives, wait and return safely?" suggested Chiyo.

"B-oring!" said Tomo.

---

Osaka slowly moved forward. She was having some difficulty walking, and breathing owing to the fact she appeared to be about forty feet under water. She crawled forward, and suddenly spotted a see weed covered replica of her school. She paused for a moment, deep in thought. She couldn't remember the school being underwater. She had warned the janitor about that leaky toilet.

"Oh wait" she gurgled, and slowly returned to the other world.

---

"Hi Yomi" said Chiyo approaching Yomi, who sat on a bench, hair messed up, wearing a large jacket. She looked towards the girl and had a look of soundless horror.

"Y-you!" she said.

"What is it Yomi, you're scaring me" said the small girl walking towards the bespectacled girl.

"I spoke to him, I spoke to Dr Williams, he told me this is all a dream, part of my illness, none of you exist, I'm just making up people to escape from the real world."

"B-b-but I do exist" said Chiyo, "I'm not part of someone's imagination."

"Get away from me! Get away from me! Get away from me!" she screamed, people walking past turning and looking at the girl.

---

"So how did it go?" asked Tomo.

"Depressing" replied Chiyo looking down at the ground and shaking slightly.

"Surprisingly wet" said Osaka.

"I found a world where we're rich" said Tomo cheerfully. Chiyo was still looking down at the ground, but Osaka suddenly noticed how Tomo's pockets seemed to be bulging with something.

"Two more left" said Tomo. "Lets go together." Osaka and Chiyo nodded in a agreement. They stepped forward and felt a now familiar feeling of light-headedness and weightlessness. Bright stars passed them by, green and red and several colours swirling together to form a white colour. Then their feet touched solid ground.

"Where are we?" asked Osaka, rubbing her head.

"It doesn't look like home." Indeed in this place there wasn't even the familiar looking school. It seemed completely different from their own world. They turned as a boy with a T-shirt of _Excel _and _Hyatt _walked down the road. He suddenly paused.

"Oh my God, oh my God it's really Chiyo-Chan" he said before fainting.

"What was that…"

"What the crap?!" yelled out Tomo. Osaka and Chiyo rushed to join the girl who held up a paperback book. The words _Azumanga Daioh _could be seen.

"What the hell? This, this is me and you and the others" said Tomo pointing to the cover. "Who the hell is the Azuma guy?"

"He appears to be some kind of author."

---

"Well, only one left" said Chiyo. "Simple really."

"What's simple?" asked Osaka.

"We only have one choice left."

"And?"

"This must be the one."

Chiyo looked up towards Tomo, and then towards Osaka. She grinned and carefully took hold of their hands. She took in a deep breath.

"Let's do it" said Tomo. Together they walked forwards, and vanished into the light, disappearing.

They woke up, groaning.

"So there you are" said Yomi standing over them. "We thought we'd find you at Chiyo's house."

Tomo stood up. _So it was just a dream?_

"Man, that lightning was freaky" said Kagura. "Oh and Chiyo, kudos for calling Yukari old."

"I did what?" Chiyo closed her eyes in panic. She could never return to the class now.

_Ze End!_


	5. Kimura, Detective

Interlude:

Go get some snacks…

_It's meme time!_

"Trying to teach us this close to the summer holiday is horrible" said Tomo to Kimura. "How are we expected to learn?"

"You threaten my class with unruly behaviour and fail to learn. I chose my words for this lesson, perhaps you should have kept yours to yourself. And there will be homework for the summer."

Tomo's face dropped. "Summer homework? This is blasphemy! This is madness!"

"Madness? This is about the Magna Carta!" shrieked Kimura, putting his foot through the board. "Oh…hello" said the teacher as the principal peeked his head round the door. Kimura dusted himself down as he pulled his foot out from the wall, chunks of wall falling to the floor.

And now the earlier scheduled program.

**Kimura, Detective **

Sex, violence, excessive drinking…

None of that will appear in this tale of a high school teacher cross detective.

The figure, cloaked in black, slowly made its way across the long school corridor. The person barely made a sound- though at this time it was unlikely there was anyone around anyway. Finally the person stopped, grinning, recognizing the poster. Just right.

---

Mr Kimura yawned and pulled open the school door, stepping into a crowded corridor. A few of the girls saw him and shrieked, running deeper into the crowd. He spotted Yukari and headed towards her, the woman slinking into the crowd as he momentarily glanced down at the ground. Sighing he turned to one of the other teachers.

"What's going on here?"

"Oh something terrible Kimura" said the man in a camp manner, resting against Kimura's shoulder and sobbing slightly.

A few minutes later, having dispersed the crowd a few of the teachers stood in the principals office. The man turned to face them.

"As you may have heard an inspirational poster was recently vandalised. This is the latest in a long line of terrible incidents, following the gluing of a wig to one of the bronze busts of our former head teacher, as well as the rearranging of the main board to spell out words such as fart and guff. It cannot stand."

"Oh won't someone please do something!"

"I'm about to call in the police."

Kimura held up his hand. A chance to win some points with the female faculty members, and make use of all of those trashy crime novels he had collected. "Mr Principal, if you give me time, I can find the culprit."

He ignored the incredulous looks of most of the staff, and the pure disbelief on Yukari. The Principal sighed.

"Very well Kimura. You have two days." He moved forward across the desk. "I'm placing trust in you here, don't let me down."

"I won't."

---

20th Century Fox Presents

In association with ADV Films

Mr Kimura in…

_Kimura, Detective _

So that's how I had ended up on this job, offering my services to the school. My duty as a teacher doesn't cover this- but I thought I'd provide more of a service to the school. Besides, if I use questioning as an excuse I could be able to get myself to the swimming pool and the girls changing rooms- after all the boss did say that stopping this was important.

I slowly walked down the corridor pondering many things. Why would someone want to unleash this level of depravity on the school? What type of person would glue a wig to something? And just why did they deny my request to have a key made for the entrance to the swimming area? Damn people.

I pushed open the door, and found the small girl Chiyo and the athletic Kagura waiting within. Sure it wasn't exactly my Kaorin, but they'd do. I walked up to them, ignoring the apparent looks of fear.

"I need your help" I said to them.

"Why?" replied Kagura.

"I've been assigned to try and stop a vandal terrorising this poor school!" I exclaimed loudly. I had decided it'd be a good idea to add a bit of drama to the occasion.

"Terrorising?" said Chiyo.

"Yes" I said, turning around and walking away, my arms crossed behind my back. "Some cruel vandal is ruining this school!"

"What you mean the wig and the board?" asked Kagura. "Kind of funny."

"It is not funny, it's a serious issue" I said, lying to myself. It was kind of amusing. A former principal now had a bright orange afro, and the cleaners were having a hard time removing the wig. "So the question is simple, will you help me or not?" I asked. The two girls stood silent for a few moments.

"No."

Crap I thought to myself. I stood waiting for a moment, but I knew they wouldn't budge. With my head hung low I left the room and drew the door closed.

"Well, that went well."

I stood still for a minute. Just what had I gotten myself into now- I had no idea where to begin. I heard someone walking behind me who seemed to stop- maybe because they'd seen me. I slowly turned and saw Tomo just standing there. She looked up at me terrified. I knew what was coming before it happened. She turned and sprinted away. I didn't bother calling out, not wanting to call attention to the scene. Instead I merely chased after the girl, rushing along the corridor, practically knocking Yukari out of the way accidentally. I knew that would come back to haunt me later.

She pushed the main doors open and ran outside. I followed. It was a beautiful day. I would have been tempted to enjoy it if it hadn't been for the fact I had a difficult opponent to chase. She continued running, I followed, ignoring the cries of surprise of the other students. Little did I know, at the moment the Principal was looking out of his window, wondering why the heck I was chasing one of the students around the school grounds. Still, I had no time to ponder such things.

She just kept on running and I just kept on following her. Mr Kimura doesn't give up that easily. Just ask my darling Kaorin, she'll tell you. I could tell the girl didn't quite know where to go, every now and again she'd slow, as though trying to decide what to do. This girl wasn't the fastest, but she had plenty of energy. She wouldn't be giving up anytime soon.

"Crap" I said to myself, panting as I started to slow. I was unfit, I'd been out of the game for a while. In recent years girls **had** to be around me as I was teaching them. I hadn't had to chase any for quite a while. That hadn't stopped me dreaming about it occasionally.

Oh Kaorin why must you break my heart?!

But I digress. Of there's only one thing. I'm sitting here telling you this tale. I already know how it ends, who was responsible. So why the heck am I still telling this? I could just tell you who it was and you could all leave with a sense of hollow victory. But screw that. I don't get much airtime as it is anyway.

I need this.

So anyway what was I talking about? Oh yeah in the end Tomo chose to take a random right and ran up the stairs. I followed her, listening to the echoing footsteps as she sprinted up the stairs. Oh, how I wished I had had a toy gun on me, it would have made the event much more fulfilling. Instead, I am ashamed to say I did actually make a fake gun with my hand as I ran after her.

Apparently Tomo had made a mistake as I heard her cursing. A door slammed shut, shortly before I arrived, but I knew where to go…owing to the fact there was only one door on this particular floor.

I slowly walked towards that door. I'm not quite sure why I walked slowly, it wasn't as though the girl would try to do anything to me. At least nothing dangerous, or anything I'd want her to do _to _me. I was so certain the answers rested behind the door. I pushed the door open, stepping inside.

There came but one reply. A reply from Miss Tomo: "Ah crap."

There was a whole group of them in there. Tomo, Sakaki, Yomi and Osaka. Osaka turned around in surprise, looked straight at me, and about ten seconds later made a surprised looking face. Boxes surrounded them and I saw Yomi quickly chuck something under one of the dusty tables.

"So just what are you doing up here?" I asked.

"It's a secret" replied Osaka. I stood and watched as Tomo gave her a death stare.

"So just what is this secret?" I asked them.

"A top secret" said Osaka, giving a wink that I later learned she copied from Tomo.

"So some type of vandal ring is it?" I asked them. "I'm surprised at you Sakaki…Yomi and you Osaka."

"This isn't a vandal ring" replied Yomi. "We're planning a surprise."

"A surprise…of terror?" I asked.

"No. A surprise for the festival. We talked with the Principal. One balloon for each student."

"And a few more for luck" said Tomo holding up some limp balloons.

"Well then…good luck."

---

Needless to say that left me with a few problems. The main one being having no idea of who did the vandalism. I found myself in the staff room, pondering what I should do. Yukari had entered shortly after me, and as I found myself deep in thought I suddenly spotted the open handbag.

And the bright orange wig.

And so that is my story of how I blackmailed Yukari into going to dinner with me. The attacks suddenly stopped and a deluge of balloons surprised everyone.

I'm sorry I seemed to have got off track.

I have dinner with an annoyed English teacher to go to.


End file.
